Flightmare Part 1

I have recently been informed that it has been about "36 years" since my last post. My calculations are slightly more conservative, but I understand the sentiment. Obviously my tidbits are greatly missed by the public and who am I to deprive the world of my genius?

Last Thursday I flew (with my mother) to visit family in Wilmington, NC. It was sort of a mini vacation within a vacation. We were flying out of Erie, PA at the ungodly hour of 5am. That meant we had to be up and on the road to the airport around 4am. I had gotten in at 12am from a night out howling and my brother woke me at about 4 to get going. We had to drive to pick up my mother, but when we got there the house was pitch black. We went inside and realized that the alarm didn't go off! Even so, we were on the road fairly quickly and 30 minutes later, arrived for our flight.

Most of my readership has visited the Erie International Airport, Tom Ridge Field and you know that it is approximately the size of an anemic Kmart. There are two check in desks, one magazine stand, and one diner-type restaurant. There is also only one line to go through security and 3 gates. Now, I have never had to wait in line behind more than two or three people at security. However, this time there was a line about 10 people deep with approximately 8 TSA staff on hand staring at one screen. Honestly, it would have been quicker for each staffer to select a passenger for a complete pat-down and bag search. Meanwhile, they are announcing our flight (you can see the gate from the security line) and final boarding. Finally, my mother gets through security (after having her hands swabbed) and I quickly follow. I am waiting for my duffle bag to come out on the conveyor belt but security holds me up. I tell my mom to go on without me, I'm sure it will just be a minute while they swipe it for explosives. I suspect there isn't much opportunity for racial profiling at the EIA so they must resort to actually picking passengers at random.

Unfortunately, it wasn't just a matter of a routine swab. Something suspicious had actually shown up on the monitor. The agent was very nice when he asked me to step to the side while he went through my bags. He searched my bags and they went through the scanner two more times before he discovered a pair of scissors that were within the regulations so I could board with them.

In the meantime, according to my mother, she was told that she must board the plane. She let everyone she passed know that her daughter was "just getting her bags checked" and asked if they could hold the plane. They told her no so she morphed from a rational woman to a hysterical person in a matter of seconds. She said that she was crying and calling my father (who, oddly, has very little influence with the TSA) and she stood in the doorway to the plane, sticking her head out, waiting for me to arrive.

When I heard that, I thought she was probably lucky not to be kicked off the flight herself. They did hold the plane and I got on. We flew to Philadelphia without further incident but that is not to say that the headaches of the day were over.

To Be Continued...