The Boob Tube

I had a completely delightful tv watching experience on Tuesday night. Glee was back and I really enjoyed the episode (no, the show isn't perfect but it still makes me chuckle and Darren Criss' It's Not Unusual was terrific.) After that, there was a half hour of Zooey Deschenel playing a version of herself and even though the previews for The New Girl basically revealed the entire episode, I still found it enchanting. Finally, Raising Hope was messed-up funny as usual.

I was not as lucky last night. Sure, Survivor was good and I got really into the immunity challenge when Ozzy's team came from behind to win, but MY GOD, there is one contestant who is probably the most reprehensible character I've ever seen.

His name is Brandon Hantz. He is the nephew of Russell Hantz, who is known as a villain on the show. He is 19 years old, married and, of course, a "good Christian". Honestly, I have no idea why these "good Christians" keep coming on a show that basically forces your to treat people poorly. Oh yeah, 1 million dollars! I mean, I get it. In order to win you may have to do some things that, in the real world, would be horrible. But it is a game. So many of them don't seem to understand that.

Anyway, this Brandon person is such a Christian that he decides he needs to get rid of an attractive, strong woman who is an asset at camp and in challenges. Not because she is a threat, but because she flaunts her body (no more than anyone else on the show and less than most) and he is a married man. What? That's your problem, dude. Not hers. She hasn't been flirting with him (which is probably the problem) or anyone for that matter.

Thank goodness for the awesome editing of this show. Whenever they have voice-over of Brandon complaining about this girl, they show multiple clips of him leering at her! He's just so skeezy. I really can't stand it.

As if that weren't enough, I then flipped to Lifetime to watch Project Runway only to find it had been preempted by a marathon of Dance Mom's. I was so annoyed. Yeah, I watched a couple hours of Dance Mom's. So what? I didn't even realize until this morning that Runway isn't on until tonight and that I had missed ANTM! ARGH!

Aunt Pittypatt at German Fest

Today I went to the German American Festival with some friends of mine. I was excited to get out after my incredibly boring Labor Day Weekend. I wanted to make sure I did it right. I looked at the weather (it was supposedly 74degrees) and decided to dress in jeans, a short sleeved blouse and my Hannover sweatshirt I got in Germany. Appropriate, no?

We got there around 2:30 and I almost immediately went to get a sausage with cole slaw and potato salad. Everything was going well, I enjoyed my food and the four of us were just standing around and talking for a while.

I noticed that it was getting really warm. My face was seriously "glowing" (not sweating, glistening) but I was trying to play it cool. Rather quickly, my brain went a bit fuzzy around the edges, I felt lightheaded and couldn't quite figure out why. I thought it would pass, but it didn't. Instead, everyone I was with seemed to float away like looking through the wrong end of a telescope. Luckily, our party had one chair which was being occupied by a sweater and a purse. I had the fortitude to say (probably a bit weakly) "Kathryn, I think I need to sit down or I'll..."

The next thing I knew, I felt vice-grip like fingers in my arm, I was sitting in the chair, and everyone was saying "Sara, Sara, are you okay?" My understanding is that when I stopped speaking I kind of hunched over the table where we were standing. Kathryn thought I was demonstrating what I would do if I didn't sit down, but then quickly realized we had passed beyond the demonstration state right into the actual doing! She said it was just a matter of a few seconds, but that my eyes were open the whole time. Totally creepy! Nothing like this has ever happened to me before, and I'm sure it was a result of the heat and possible dehydration (although I had a bottle of water earlier in the day).

In the end, I felt better almost immediately and I got some water to drink. All I can say is that it was the strangest sensation, and thank goodness my friends were there to help me!

Flightmare Part 2

Have you ever noticed how, in the movies of the 50s and 60s, when people are disembarking from a plane, it is always nice an sunny out? I'm thinking of movies like "Daddy Longlegs" and "The Parent Trap". Back then they didn't have these big planes with the connecting bridge so you just walk from gate to cabin without stepping outside. Well, that's how the planes in Erie roll.

This would all be fine if it weren't for the torrential downpour that greeted us in Philadelphia! we had to run, with our bags, from the steps of our airplane to the airport. It was probably at least a 30 yard dash. The two of us were drenched and the airport was about 10 degrees below freezing!

In Philly, they have all the small planes come into Gate F, but if you are transferring to a larger plane (as we were) you have to go to one of the other gates. We were headed for Gate B. Unfortunately, in order to get there (unless you want to go through security again) you have to take a bus. So, it was out into the elements for us once more!

I'll spare my dear readers all the gory details. Suffice it to say that, after at least one further gate change and a delay, it turned out that our flight to Charlotte wasn't going to make it in time for our final connection to Jacksonville.

Again we waited in line, this time to find out how we would get to our destination. We were given the option of just delaying our flight to Jacksonville until 6:45pm (awesome!) Fortunately we had a Plan B...get us to Wilmington. They did book us on a flight to Wilmington leaving, of course, from Gate F!

There was much scrambling to get my car rental reservation moved from Jacksonville to Wilmington and, after a quick bite, we made our way back to the small plane area. It was probably ridiculous to think that we would leave on time for this flight, I guess, because when our boarding time was near, we heard otherwise. A woman, speaking English but doing so as if she had a mouthful of marbles, informed us that our plane was ready, we were just wanting a crew. About an hour later Marbles told us that we had a plane, a crew and a lightning storm that would not be safe for the ground workers. Another half hour and they were getting us onto the plane.

We finally arrived in Wilmington and headed straight for the Budget car rental. A man, looking suspiciously like my mother's long-lost cousin, brusquely greeted us and asked for our confirmation number. I tried to explain our situation as I pulled out my laptop to get the confirmation number I had emailed to me when I made the change. That took too long for him so he deigned to look it up based on my last name. He found the reservation, but when we asked if we could return it to Jacksonville rather than Wilmington he told us we would need to step aside to make a new reservation!

I figured it would be fine to just say "screw it" and return the car to Wilmington and get a ride when we were leaving. However, when he saw my Driver's License, he asked me if it was my current address. I (stupidly) answered honestly that it wasn't and he told me he couldn't rent me a car. He directed us to the next desk down and said they would probably do it.

We shuffled ourselves to the next desk down where the woman was happy to rent me a 16 passenger van! We shuffled again. Finally, at Alamo we met with some aid. The manager was there training a new staff member and he rented us a car AND allowed us to return it to Jacksonville without charging us the exorbitant 1 way fee.

It was at least 4pm at this point, and we had suffered through a good 12 hours of grueling travel. I'm pretty sure we could have driven it in about the same mount of time (Google Maps claims it would take 12.5 hours) with much fewer headaches! In the end, we were safe and sound and we did wind up having a really nice time on our vacation within a vacation!

Flightmare Part 1

I have recently been informed that it has been about "36 years" since my last post. My calculations are slightly more conservative, but I understand the sentiment. Obviously my tidbits are greatly missed by the public and who am I to deprive the world of my genius?

Last Thursday I flew (with my mother) to visit family in Wilmington, NC. It was sort of a mini vacation within a vacation. We were flying out of Erie, PA at the ungodly hour of 5am. That meant we had to be up and on the road to the airport around 4am. I had gotten in at 12am from a night out howling and my brother woke me at about 4 to get going. We had to drive to pick up my mother, but when we got there the house was pitch black. We went inside and realized that the alarm didn't go off! Even so, we were on the road fairly quickly and 30 minutes later, arrived for our flight.

Most of my readership has visited the Erie International Airport, Tom Ridge Field and you know that it is approximately the size of an anemic Kmart. There are two check in desks, one magazine stand, and one diner-type restaurant. There is also only one line to go through security and 3 gates. Now, I have never had to wait in line behind more than two or three people at security. However, this time there was a line about 10 people deep with approximately 8 TSA staff on hand staring at one screen. Honestly, it would have been quicker for each staffer to select a passenger for a complete pat-down and bag search. Meanwhile, they are announcing our flight (you can see the gate from the security line) and final boarding. Finally, my mother gets through security (after having her hands swabbed) and I quickly follow. I am waiting for my duffle bag to come out on the conveyor belt but security holds me up. I tell my mom to go on without me, I'm sure it will just be a minute while they swipe it for explosives. I suspect there isn't much opportunity for racial profiling at the EIA so they must resort to actually picking passengers at random.

Unfortunately, it wasn't just a matter of a routine swab. Something suspicious had actually shown up on the monitor. The agent was very nice when he asked me to step to the side while he went through my bags. He searched my bags and they went through the scanner two more times before he discovered a pair of scissors that were within the regulations so I could board with them.

In the meantime, according to my mother, she was told that she must board the plane. She let everyone she passed know that her daughter was "just getting her bags checked" and asked if they could hold the plane. They told her no so she morphed from a rational woman to a hysterical person in a matter of seconds. She said that she was crying and calling my father (who, oddly, has very little influence with the TSA) and she stood in the doorway to the plane, sticking her head out, waiting for me to arrive.

When I heard that, I thought she was probably lucky not to be kicked off the flight herself. They did hold the plane and I got on. We flew to Philadelphia without further incident but that is not to say that the headaches of the day were over.

To Be Continued...

Have you heard about this Marriage Vow pact that an organization in Iowa is asking Republican presidential candidates to sign? It contains the usual stuff about remaining faithful to your spouse and doing everything in your power to block all sorts of unions that don't fit the "one man, one woman" mold.

That isn't the controversial part though, this is:

Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household than was an African- American baby born after the election of the USA‟s first African-American President

It seems to be indicating that an African-American child born into slavery had a more stable home life than one born in the last 3 years.

What a horrible thing to say! The majority of the controversy, from what I've heard, revolves around the reference to slavery. While that's terrible, it totally ignores the fact that it is entirely misleading. The same statement would be true during any presidential administration since the 1960s, not just the Obama administration. (The article being referenced was written in 2005, years before Obama was elected) It would also be true of pretty much any race in the U.S.A. A white child, Asian, Indian, etc. were all more likely to be raised in a two-parent household in 1860 than in the last 50 years.

I'll give you two guesses as to which candidates did sign.

Of course it was Santorum and Bachman. Both signed the pledge before the above-mentioned passage was removed.

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The Way it Should Be

I left my Fortress of Solitude this morning at 9:30ish. My cat-minions needed food (they go through it like it's food or something1). I got into Pet Smart just a few minutes after it opened at 10am. The place was a busy as I had ever seen it! Who knew Sunday morning was the time to do all your pet shopping?

Anyway, when I got into line, there was one guy checking out, two guys waiting in line in front of me, then two women after me. The cashier called for a "backup cashier". Now, in my experience, when the additional cashier shows up, the line generally breaks in half and moves over to the second register, maintaining the original line-up.

Before we got a chance to do that, in fact, before the new teller even showed up, the last lady in line hops right over to the second register! I thought that was fairly bold, but I didn't mind too much because now there was just one guy checking out and another in front of me. I knew I didn't have long to wait.

The line hopper then has the nerve to interrupt my cashier as she's finishing up with a transaction to ask her if she can call the additional person again (because the line-hopper has "some place to be"). My cashier does, then up goes the guy in front of me. He has some sort of fish issue and is sent to the fish department. So I'm up! And the new cashier still hasn't showed! By the time I'm out of there, the new cashier is checking the woman out. She probably didn't even make it out of there before the woman behind me. I know it isn't kind, but I couldn't help but have a smile on my face as I walked out of the shop.

Red Line Hero

No, I didn't stand up to a flash mob on the train today. What I did was so much better.

About 4 stops from home, a couple and their young child got on the train. As they sat down, the mother next to me facing forward and the father holding the child on the other side of the aisle facing backwards, the little boy began to scream and sob.

I'm not good a guessing age, but I think he must have been around 3 years old. The screaming went on and on until we reached the next stops while Mom and Dad tried to calm him down. I figured he must be terrified of the train. Finally, as we got moving again, I understood the problem. The kid wanted to be by a window, not seated in the aisle! Having a window seat myself, the power to give it away, and an intense disdain for ill-behaved children, I offered my seat to the mom. Rather than gratefully accepting, she said "I don't want you to have to do that" (of course, she moved her legs so I could get up). I told her I was off in two stops and the father said "she probably just doesn't want to hear him screaming anymore." Right on the nose, Papa Bear.

Once the family was re-configured according to their little brat's desires, he shut up, thank God. In my head I imagined all the other passengers applauding my actions (that didn't happen in reality, but it would not have been out of place in this situation). My good deed for the day is now accomplished, but I sure hope those people spare the rest of the world the ear-peircing shrieks of their child in the future.