Soften All The Bones In Your Face

I feel just sick about this: Rich (from fourfour) will no longer be recapping America's Next Top Model.

Let's have a moment of silence.

I have always enjoyed the camp and absurdity of ANTM, but what has really kept me watching was Rich's hilarious, spot-on commentary every week. He actually changed the way I watched the show. I would seen an episode and think "what will Rich say about that?" This cycle is no exception.

The first "runway show" had so many elements. The runway was narrow (12 inches wide), surrounded by water, the girls had to walk inside bubbles and the bubbles were full of red petals that further obscured their vision.

I'm not really sure why they even bothered with the Alexander Wang clothes. The girls might as well have been wearing sacks (some of them looked like they were).

Two girls fell off the runway and floated around in the water nobody helped them out, they just had to crawl around like hamsters until they could move close enough to the edge to roll themselves out. It was beyond ridiculous.

Only one girl didn't look like a total mess and she's from a small town in PA! I'll be rooting for Britanni (and pretending that she doesn't spell her name in such a dumb way).