Not So Wonderful

There is an abomination that has been plaguing the airwaves over the last couple of years thanks to one obnoxious ad a few years back. It is the What a Wonderful World/Somewhere Over the Rainbow Medley. It was originally sung by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, an Hawaiian songwriter and ukulele player. I can only assume he is responsible for the almost unintelligible mash up of these two classics. For some reason, people seem to love his song.

I have highlighted in red the places where the lyrics make no sense.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Once in a lullaby ii ii iii
Somewhere over the rainbow
Blue birds fly
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Dreams really do come true ooh ooooh
Someday I'll wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me ee ee eeh
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney tops thats where you'll find me oh
Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly
And the dream that you dare to,why, oh why can't I? i iiii

Well I see trees of green and
Red roses too,
I'll watch them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Well I see skies of blue and I see clouds of white
And the brightness of day
I like the dark and I think to myself
What a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people passing by
I see friends shaking hands
Saying, "How do you do?"
They're really saying, I...I love you
I hear babies cry and I watch them grow,
They'll learn much more
Than we'll know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world (w)oohoorld

Someday I'll wish upon a star,
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney top that's where you'll find me
Oh, Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
And the dream that you dare to, why, oh why can't I? I iii ?

It is a mess. I can acknowledge the appeal of the folky music and his sweet voice but I cannot abide the butchering of two classic songs. Am I alone here?

To help you make your decision I submit:

I Dare Ya!

Last week I was feeling especially lazy so I decided to place a grocery order with Peapod. I just couldn't face walking to the store and back in this heat schlepping everything from my week's supply of Diet Pepsi to kitty litter. I have a grandma cart which I normally use for bigger grocery runs, but even that couldn't sweeten the deal.

There was also a bit of a catch 22: because it was so hot, I needed icy treats; because it was so hot, I had no chance of getting icy treats home.

This was my second try at ordering from Peapod. In both instances I have felt some sort of consumer guilt. It just seems so extravagant to have grocery items delivered to my door. Who do I think I am?

Anyway, the food etc. came and as soon as I had put it all away, I grabbed an Edy's Acai Blueberry popsicle. With what would have been relish (had everything gone according to plan) I began my first lick.

Things get a little fuzzy from here. I was lounging on my loveseat, laptop on my lap, popsicle in one hand, remote control in the other and nowhere to go. The epitome of sloth, greed and gluttony. But I was stuck. Literally. Stuck.

The popsicle had turned on me. In my haste I hadn't noticed the icy white film engulfing what should have been a purply-red frozen treat. All of a sudden I was Ralphie's little friend in A Christmas Story:

I will confess that I panicked a bit. I was rendered immobile and the thing wouldn't thaw! I know I should have gone to a sink but with my hands and lap full and in a 3/4 supine position, I couldn't move. (Yes, you may say I could have dropped the remote, moved my laptop and gotten up, but you weren't there!) Eventually, through the thoughtful and timely use of copious amounts of saliva, I managed to free my tongue. The whole thing would have been humiliating (if there were anyone to see) but I don't even think the cats noticed my struggle.

There wasn't an issue with any of the other popsicles, so I think that the first one was just temporarily over-refrigerated from the Peapod truck.

Freak

I cannot adequately express how much I adore James Frain as Franklin Mott on this season of True Blood. Frain is one of those actors that I know I've seen before, but can't always place. I knew he played Cromwell in The Tudors, but I couldn't remember what I knew him from before that. It turns out he was Forney in Where the Heart Is (the best part of that movie), he was in Titus and The Count of Monte Cristo, as well.

Part of the reason for my forgetfulness is that he generally plays quiet, unassuming characters. That is NOT the case with Franklin. His vampiric meltdown was hilarious and a much needed example of a True Blood vampire who is not alway cooly cruel. He's cruel all right, but bat-$#*t crazy (pun intended) to boot.

I love how, at the end of the clip, he is disappointed that Tara isn't watching him closely enough and says "Looook!" then "Love you" and blows her a kiss. The Vampire king of Mississippi isn't wrong when he calls poor, unbalanced Franklin a "Freak".

True Blood, please give me more of Freaky Franklin!

New Cut!

As you can see, I got about 3 inches of my hair chopped off. Right now it feels exactly the way a new haircut should: swishy and light. I cannot stop touching it, either.

As usual, Miguel (my hair guy) was extremely entertaining. He just got back from vacation and was still riding high. Even though he could have styled my hair curly and gone home about 20 minutes earlier, he decided to make me straight. We joked that, with this humidity, it would last just long enough for me to get home. I insisted my cats would be impressed. That stopped him in his tracks. Apparently Miguel LOVES cats so he had to quit blowdrying and show me something important. He ran off and returned quickly with his ipad.

He has some app (I cannot find it anywhere) that you choose a picture of a cat and pet it. It purrs and the ipad vibrates. His favorite part, however, is that if you shake it, the cat meows angrily. He was quick to assure me that he does not make a habit of shaking REAL cats, just the ones on his computer!

Any thoughts about shaking cats or my new cut?

Losing My Mind

When my mother has a senior moment, we tell her she is turning into Baba; when I have one, I'm turning into Mom. I thought I would stick around in the "Mom" mode until I was a least 40. Today I made the clear leap to "Baba"

Part of my job is to tally incoming payments by check and fill out a deposit slip. This is normally one of the easier tasks I do on a daily basis. It doesn't even require me to do any math, as I have to use our adding machine to total the checks twice, ensuring that both totals match.

I would like to emphasize that this has never been a problem for me before. Today, however, I found my deposit slip (which should have been clipped to the checks) floating around on my desk. I was surprised but didn't really think twice about it, I just got the checks out of the lock box and put it all together. In doing so, I happened to notice that the slip did not match my tape total. Not only didn't it match, but it was about six thousand dollars off!

Here is an idea of what I was seeing:

Tally Deposit Slip

3625 9352

Come On! That deposit slip number looks like I just made it up! Not only did I traspose the 5 and 2, but I flipped the 6 into a 9 and switched it with a 3. It is like a Sudoku Anagram!

I would never have caught the mistake if I hadn't forgotten to attach my slip to the checks. It would have gone to the bank then they would have called the bursar's office who would have then called my co-worker, Nicole (because she did the financial report today). She would have had to have asked me about it, then I would have gone to our files just to see that the two amounts didn't match up!

So, thanks to my "Mom" moment of leaving the slip on my desk, I discovered my "Baba" moment before exposing it to the world.

More Shoes!

I don't consider myself to be one of those shoe-obsessed girls (luv ya, ladies!) but I am now putting up my 2nd shoe-centric post, and my 3rd in which photos of my feet are featured. I find this a bit odd. Oh well, I'll just have to assume you don't mind.

While shoe shopping last week, I saw this pair of orange strappy slingbacks that I thought would be perfect with my imaginary navy dress that I plan to buy for my friend, Allison's wedding. Number one, I love orange. Number two, orange shoes and an imaginary navy dress are theoretically going to be tres cute together.

I didn't buy the shoes since I felt a bit tippy in them and I could just see myself twisting my ankle in Hershey. They've been on my mind since last Saturday. Yesterday I made it back to DSW (this time with back-up in the form of Kathryn, she's a lawyer and makes a great case for most shoe purchases). She insisted I buy, so I did.

I'll just have to practice the chicken dance wearing these heels and hope for the best. The hunt is now on for my imaginary navy dress!

p.s. It is extremely tricky to take a picture of shoes while you wear them.

Hump Weekend

Today marked the close of our first session of the Summer Program. We are officially halfway finished! I have spoken to some parents who are eager to talk about what a great time their kids are having and it is so nice to hear it.

Although I have to work on Sunday, I have another movie day planned. This time we are going to see The Girl Who Played With Fire. I am really excited, but I'm not expecting another celebrity sighting.

When we were planning our trip to the movies, Kathryn and I started talking about the inevitable hollywood version of the Stieg Larsson trilogy. She read it could be Tom Hanks and Natalie Portman. I was aghast! I have nothing against either actor, but PUH-LEASE! It probably won't happen, but I think they would be way better off finding an unknown actress to play Lisbeth and someone a bit more rugged to play Mikael. I guess it doesn't matter, as Kathryn says* "I'm determined to hate whoever it is".

* I'm paraphrasing