Last week I was feeling especially lazy so I decided to place a grocery order with Peapod. I just couldn't face walking to the store and back in this heat schlepping everything from my week's supply of Diet Pepsi to kitty litter. I have a grandma cart which I normally use for bigger grocery runs, but even that couldn't sweeten the deal.
There was also a bit of a catch 22: because it was so hot, I needed icy treats; because it was so hot, I had no chance of getting icy treats home.
This was my second try at ordering from Peapod. In both instances I have felt some sort of consumer guilt. It just seems so extravagant to have grocery items delivered to my door. Who do I think I am?
Anyway, the food etc. came and as soon as I had put it all away, I grabbed an Edy's Acai Blueberry popsicle. With what would have been relish (had everything gone according to plan) I began my first lick.
Things get a little fuzzy from here. I was lounging on my loveseat, laptop on my lap, popsicle in one hand, remote control in the other and nowhere to go. The epitome of sloth, greed and gluttony. But I was stuck. Literally. Stuck.
The popsicle had turned on me. In my haste I hadn't noticed the icy white film engulfing what should have been a purply-red frozen treat. All of a sudden I was Ralphie's little friend in A Christmas Story:
I will confess that I panicked a bit. I was rendered immobile and the thing wouldn't thaw! I know I should have gone to a sink but with my hands and lap full and in a 3/4 supine position, I couldn't move. (Yes, you may say I could have dropped the remote, moved my laptop and gotten up, but you weren't there!) Eventually, through the thoughtful and timely use of copious amounts of saliva, I managed to free my tongue. The whole thing would have been humiliating (if there were anyone to see) but I don't even think the cats noticed my struggle.
There wasn't an issue with any of the other popsicles, so I think that the first one was just temporarily over-refrigerated from the Peapod truck.
don't feel bad. do you remember when we were watching swiss family robinson on your back porch and i got the popsicle stick stuck to my tongue and had to run home to have my dad remove it.
ReplyDeleteMan, we get Peapod all the time. I mean seriously - if we have to get a lot of groceries, and we usually do, because we don't go shopping often - it's either rent an i-go car or get Peapod. Peapod is cheaper, usually. The prices are comparable to any other grocery store, and the delivery fee is only about $7. Of course you also have to tip the delivery man, but it's still worth it to me. I used to feel lazy and guilty about it too, until I started doing it. Now I just feel sorry for people in cities where grocery delivery is not an option.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about Joanna's (much more traumatic popsicle incident) when I wrote about this. I'm sure I'll get over my Peapod complex eventually.
ReplyDeleteSounds like greed. gluttonly and sloth to me. I prefer to think of those desperate times as just well deserved and needed pamperings. I don't remember Joanna's popsicle incident. The things that happened at the Morrow house. Swiss Family Robinson and popsicles.
ReplyDeleteyou prob don't remember b/c i ran to my house to my dad and he got the plyers out. oh the things that happened in that neighborhood. my parents and i were just talking about the pea incident
ReplyDeleteAt least you had the sense NOT to eat the sweet william. Euclid Ave. was paved with vomit that afternoon.
ReplyDelete*correction i grew up on euclid blvd. euclid ave was in the city down ricardo's and mt. calvary
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