Truth is Stranger than Fiction

Believe it or not, I am now in an NFL fantasy league. Even if you don't know me, you should have probably noticed that my taste in TV runs more to shows about glee clubs, vampires, sewing competitions and modeling, not so much sports.

This whole thing came about because my mom just got the NFL Red Zone. (I think that's what its called, but I can't be bothered to look it up.) She then decided to create her own fantasy team. Since she didn't belong to a league, the prospect of competing only against people she didn't know did not appeal.

My brother was convinced to create a league for us and, from now on, he will be referred to as "Commissioner". My understanding is that leagues require 8 teams. Our league is made up of Mom, Dad, Commissioner, 3 of Commissioner's friends, and me. If you are good at math, you may have noticed that one plus one plus one plus three plus one leaves us with one bullet.

That was just nonsense. The Commissioner has ended up with two teams to give us the necessary total.

You probably already know that, in order to have a fantasy team, you must choose your team in a draft. Luckily, it is possible to set up an auto draft. That is what I did (with some help from Commissioner). I'm told that my team is good and I do recognize about 3 names. I don't have the foggiest clue what to do at this point. Wish me luck.

Bon Voyage...To Me!

I'm leaving for Exotic Erie, PA tomorrow. On Facebook, my brother has announced my travels to one and all claiming CB (that's me) will "rock E-town". I certainly intend to do my best.

My BFF* thinks "rock" isn't the right word for what I will do to Erie. I wonder what she would prefer? Maybe I will "make E-town off the HOOK" or "jazz it up!" (I do have some pretty impressive jazz hands). She is probably thinking more along the lines of "have a nice time and see some family and friends in Erie". While that may be true (okay, it IS true) it doesn't make for a very punchy Facebook wall post.

After a couple of days in Erie, aforementioned BFF and I will be road trippin' to Hersey for a much anticipated wedding (photos to come). It is a six hour drive and I have created a mix on my ipod of belt-em-out and dance-in-your-seat songs for us to enjoy. I can't wait!

To cap it all off, I will actually be seeing my dad and the puppy, Rosie. They will be getting into town Monday night. Unfortunately, Mom has to work and Daisy just had some fairly embarrassing and uncomfortable surgery, so they won't be joining us.

I am so excited to "have a nice time and see family and friends"!

*Just messing with you, Jo, that Facebook post made me laugh, too. So did your texts!

Talk with the Animals

When I was a little girl, my family got a Cocker Spaniel that we called "Lady". I'm pretty sure that I insisted on that highly unoriginal, but nevertheless suitable, name. Lady was a pretty great dog, inspiring my brother an I to sing songs about her, to her. We didn't go so far as to write new songs, we basically just Weird Al'd some classics, inserting her name and other details about her. The most primitive, and likely the first of the songs, was "Bicycle Bicycle Built for Two" and just exchanged "Daisy" for "Lady".

Later, we got more creative with the theme song from one of our favorite Disney Films, "Davey Crockett".

My favorite substitution is "kilt her a bee when she was only three" Clever, cause it was true!

Not only did I sing to our dog, but I also claimed to be able to speak with her. I believe I called it "dog talk" or some such nonsense. I never really thought I could talk to her, but I put on a show of it, and certainly thought I had the neighborhood kids fooled. They would humor me probably thinking: "poor girl, she really thinks she is talking to that dog. I hope her parents get her some help" or, more likely, "lets just go along with this, at least she isn't making us sing again".

I'm pretty sure I was a bit of a tyrant with an inflated sense of my own talent, intelligence, and maturity. Hmm...I guess not much has changed.

Anyway, the whole idea of talking with my pets eventually petered out, until I became more of a normal person and just talked to my pets. That is, until recently. My cats have brought back my uncanny abilities. We have whole conversations in which their various meows actually mean something to me depending on where we are.

Sometimes they make statements and sometimes they ask questions.

In the kitchen "mep-yeow?" means "can we get some _____?" usually food, water or litter. They will follow me into the kitchen and "mep-yeow?" me until I have found whichever of those things needs replenished. They will only follow me into the kitchen if they need something.

In the living room or my bedroom "aiyow." is "pet me" or "yow?" is "what are you doing?"

I'm afraid that I am pretty obviously turning into a true Cat Lady. Please don't judge.

Guess who has Mockingjay?!

I Do!!!!

On my lunch break I popped over to Borders to pick up my copy of the 3rd and final book of the Hunger Games trilogy. I was surprised this morning to receive a 33% off coupon from Borders via email, so I thought it was destiny.

When I got there and went to check out, the girl at the register was so excited to sell me the book (she already had hers) that she found a 50% off coupon for me to use. The book ended up being about $8! I'd have paid much more.

I cannot wait to start reading. I probably won't come up for air until the middle of the night.

After getting the book, I happily strolled over to Noodles & Co to get some lunch. I was in the mood for something from their "Asian" menu. They have "Japanese Pan Noodles" that sounded good but I noticed the little chili pepper next to it indicating that is was spicy.

I really hoped I could get it without it being spicy. Here is our dialogue, paraphrased:

Noodle Girl: Can I help whose next?

Me: Hi, yes. Can I get the Japanese Pan Noodles, just not spicy?

NG: They aren't spicy.

Me: Well, your sign has a little pepper next to it saying that it is spicy.

(I point and she looks at the menu, for a really long time)

NG: Hmm, well I've had it before and its not spicy, and I like spicy food.

(At this point I probably made a bit of a face since I was thinking that is the exact opposite of convincing)

Me: Okay, I guess I'll try it. (Clearly I was convinced. Or, if not convinced, at least not dissuaded by her poor logic)

In the end, the noodles were fine (but spicy!) By the time I was finished, I definitely needed something to cool my mouth off. Luckily, we have some ice cream bars at work that did the trick.

Sara(h) Sylvia Cynthia Stout

In preparation for my mother's visit I have been cleaning a bit in my apartment. Last night I really got down to business. I had to make 4 separate trips to the dumpster to get rid of the stuff I had sitting around. One full trip was entirely empty boxes of kitty litter. I was horrified by my own neglect!

On a brighter note, my dress came in today for Allison's wedding. I took some pictures with my computer camera. It has this crazy feature where it will take 4 pictures in quick succession. This is what I tried.

The Monster Upstairs

For the last month or two I have been in Heaven. I didn't realize it because you sometimes don't notice how good things are until they go away. In the space of a couple of days, my unknown bliss has evaporated. This is due to the fact that I have a new upstairs neighbor (or it is still my old neighbor, he was just out of town for a reeeally long time). I went to bed at about 9:45 last night, but the racket didn't completely stop until about midnight. I am telling myself that it is a new neighbor, and that this neighbor suffers from some pretty bizarre maladies that render him/her/it incapable of silence.

1. Chronic Lumbering Pedestritis: A condition which renders the sufferer incapable of walking softly upon any surface, resulting in dull thuds accompanying any movement on foot.

2. Jeff Lewis Syndrome: Results in the inability of JLS + persons to settle on the proper placement of heavy furniture. Those who are JLS + can drag cumbersome objects from one place to another well into the middle of the night.

3. Whatdoicareaboutmyneighborswhomayhavejobssotheyhavetogetupinthemorningphilia: Pretty much what it sounds like. Primarily involves implementing conditions 1 & 2 after 10pm.

This is about what I picture my upstairs monster to look like:

Note the watch is 10:10, time to get to work!

The Audacity of Silence

The concert was terrific. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and am so happy I went ahead and bought my ticket. I am very curious about how many of the audience members were Rufus fans and how many were brought along or otherwise had very little previous knowledge of his music. My thought is that the majority knew what they were getting into.

Martha Wainwright openend for her brother promptly at 8pm. Her set was just wonderful, her vocals were stunning and she was genuinely funny between songs. At one point, while tuning her guitar, she quipped "folk singers are supposed to talk when they tune their guitars so the audience thinks they've got it together". Her husband cam out an accompanied her on the piano for a song from her new album of "lesser known" Edith Piaf songs. The album cannot be bought in stores in the U.S. because she isn't signed with an American label. She had copies for sale in the lobby and they sold out before intermission. Her last song she did on a dare from Rufus. It was "La Vie en Rose" a cappella and without amplification. Gorgeous.

You may remember that I previously wrote about a strange request from Rufus about the first part of his act. It was true. When I bought my ticket there was a note that he asked his audience to refrain from clapping between songs until he had left the stage. Before he began, a man came out on the stage and asked everyone to remain quiet for the entire "song cycle". This caused quite a bit of murmuring in the crowd (I guess they didn't read the notice when they bought their tickets).

Rufus walked slowly onto the darkened stage. He was lit only from behind and was wearing a robe of some sort with a plumed collar Johnny Weir would envy. The train of his cape trailed 17 feet behind him (I know this because he told us during the second half of the show). He then proceeded to play through his latest album All Days are Nights in its entirety. After the first song some poor schmuck forgot the rules and began to whistle and clap. He was promptly shushed by a couple of other audience members (one of whom was sitting not far from me in the first balcony and thought that flailing his arms over the railing would somehow help to quiet they clapper sitting in the orchestra seats. This shusher was vigilant, frequently glaring in the direction of anyone who made the least noise. I came to know him as "Rufus' bouncer".) Two more songs were sung without incident before the capper forgot himself again.

I will admit that I was a bit leery of the no applause thing. I couldn't really see the point of it. I'm still not sure I really get it, but it did impact my concert experience. On the one hand it raised the tension in the audience. It takes some self control to not applaud when all your life you have done so. On the other hand, I felt it harkened back to a time before MP3 players when people would actually sit and listen to an album from beginning to end without interruption. Does anyone do that any more? I came out of the experience feeling like I had just held my breath the entire time but with a new appreciation for the songs themselves.

The second half of Rufus' show was much more typical for him. It was still just him and a piano (when I saw him in Pittsburgh he was accompanied by a band and backup singers) with Martha coming out for a couple of songs. But gone was the black robe which was replaced by an exuberant shirt/jacket/pants outfit all in a wild orange print. After thanking the audience for doing a good job of keeping quiet for the first half, he sang some of my favorite songs including my ABSOLUTE favorite "Dinner at Eight" and ended the show by singing one of his late mother's, Kate McGarrigle, songs.

I struggle to think of one other American artist (he was born in NYC but did grow up in Canada) who has the ability to entertain with such profound simplicity. He not only writes, composes and sings virtually all his songs, but he does it in two languages! Between Martha and Rufus, a good 5 songs were sung in French. I'm willing to bet 90% of the audience didn't understand more than a word or two, but the music and vocals were so amazing that it didn't matter.

I wasn't the only one to fee this way. On the way out I hear someone say the concert was the best birthday present he had ever bought for himself.